I love my father... But it doesn't show. I know he loves me, but he is not showing me. Maybe that's the way it is. Men don't show a lot of their emotions aside from anger and fiery. We, emphasizing the Filipinos, are accustomed that father's are less affectionate than mothers. Father's show less love but show their strict serious face. They are known to be disciplinarian. Children are afraid to make their fathers angry, for if they do, they will not face it without a heavy punishment.
I know it. I have experience all of those. I experienced being yelled with long sermons, felt the pain of his punch, was hit with his enormous sinews and suffer his almost unwavering madness. I have felt it. Yes, I have.
Even with all of these, I still love my father. I admit that I have kept grudges or even hatred to the man who made the possibility my existence, but I realize that keeping these things just made me farther away to him.
Then I realized, he was just drawing a strong image of himself in us. He doesn't want that his children will see that their daddy is a weakling. He kept an example for us of being strong, brave and firmly standing.
This is my writing for my father, who I know love me even without saying. This is for my father. Though imperfections mock him, no one can erase the mark he made for me- the vision he is transfering on me. I cared for him. Truly, Pa, this is for you.
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