Don't Play with Love

I really love to relax. Minsan makikita mo na lang ako na nakahiga o di kaya ay nakaupo sa isang tabi.... nakikinig lang ng kapaligiran. Lagi nga ako napagkakamalang tamad dahil sa hilig kong ito. But, hindi iyon ang topic ko ngayon.(tawa) Nais kong ipahayag sa inyo ang saloobin ko tungkol sa bumagabag sa akin habang minsa'y nagpapahinga ako.

Masarap makinig sa radyo. Lalo na kung maririnig mo ang paborito mong tugtog. Pero ng panahong iyon nabagabag ako ng marinig ko ang dj na magsabi na "Loving is just like playing". Noong una, I didn't paid much attention to it, but the words rung a bell in my cerebrum. May mali sa sinabi ng dj. Alam kong may mali.

Tunay nga bang "Loving is just like playing"? Playing? Talaga? Correct me if I am wrong. Playing is parallel to fooling around. I thought love is a serious thing. Playing is not loving, and loving is not playing. Alam ko parang wala nang sense ang sinasabi ko pero it is alarming that most people didn't take love as a serious thing. Laro lang sa kanila ang pagmamahal.

Ganun iyon e. Laro lang sa kanila ang pagmamahal kaya madali lang sa kanila paglaruan ang iba. Madali lang sa kanila ang mang-iwan na parang walang nangyari. Madali sa kanila kumuha ng girlfriend o boyfriend o asawa. Ang masama pa doon e, ipinagmamalaki pa nilang player sila... as in pinaglalaruan nila ang iba. They boast the number of their boyfriend/girlfriend/wives/husband. They proudly laugh about people they have hurt because of their fooling around. Uso na nga ang buwan buwan iba ang karelasyon mo. tsk tsk tsk. Malala!

Honestly, I haven't experience having a partner but I still know how to hurt and be hurt. I know their feelings. Masakit. Sobra. Tao naman sila. Hindi laruan na pagkatapos paglaruan ng bata e iiwan nalang nila sa tabi. Desolated. Abandoned. Wrecked. Wala tayong karapatan na paglaruan ang pagmamahal ng iba.

So balik tayo. Love is not a thing to be fooled around. If you love, love seriously. Consider na tao iyan- may ulo, paa, kamay, utak, puso at pagkatao. Tulad mo rin sila. Don't ever enter the parameters of love if hindi ka rin seryoso- lalo kung hindi mo naman talaga mahal ang tao iyon. Loving is not fooling around. When you enter it, in your hands are life and death. Nakasalalay sa'yo ang future ng nakapaligid sa iyo maging ng buhay mo.

Pa, I'm saying I love you..

      I love my father... But it doesn't show. I know he loves me, but he is not showing me. Maybe that's the way it is. Men don't show a lot of their emotions aside from anger and fiery. We, emphasizing the Filipinos, are accustomed that father's are less affectionate than mothers. Father's show less love but show their strict serious face. They are known to be disciplinarian. Children are afraid to make their fathers angry, for if they do, they will not face it without a heavy punishment.

     I know it. I have experience all of those. I experienced being yelled with long sermons, felt the pain of his punch, was hit with his enormous sinews and suffer his almost unwavering madness. I have felt it. Yes, I have.

     Even with all of these, I still love my father. I admit that I have kept grudges or even hatred to the man who made the possibility my existence, but I realize that keeping these things just made me farther away to him.

    Then I realized, he was just drawing a strong image of himself in us. He doesn't want that his children will see that their daddy is a weakling. He kept an example for us of being strong, brave and firmly standing.

     This is my writing for my father, who I know love me even without saying. This is for my father. Though imperfections mock him, no one can erase the mark he made for me- the vision he is transfering on me. I cared for him. Truly, Pa, this is for you.